KVNUFTP

Here is my letter to the editor.
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Shame on the Clipper for running this despicable article. Our local newspaper is better than to be the mouth piece for a bunch of right wing “theories” on human sexuality.

Here is something for JoAnn to think about – Why did Jesus not preach once about homosexuality the whole time while He was here on earth? You would think if it was such a big issue for God He would have had His only begotten Son speak about the issue while He was here on earth.

Don’t you think?

But Jesus did preach about how we treat others and tolerance and love…maybe JoAnn should try being a follower of Christ instead of pretending she is holier than thou.

Marshall Collins
Layton, UT
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I figure if questioning other people’s sexuality is now fair game then so is questioning JoAnn’s faith.

I have known I was gay since I was 10ish. My friends started to look at girls, and I started to look at them. I always hoped, prayed and wished it was a phase. When the time came to go on an LDS mission, I lied to get through the interviews. Two weeks before I was to leave I felt so bad for my lies I had to come clean. I was referred to LDS social services, who referred me to a counselor who specialized in “same sex attractions.” I spent more than two years of counseling to try to change my orientation. To someone who says “gay is a choice” you are wrong, WRONG. I have live it, you are wrong. Yes acting on being gay is a choice, we all chose how to act, but the feelings are not. In elementary if I could chose to not have confusing feelings about the same sex, I would have. In Jr. High if the choice was there to feel like I fit in when my friends were talking about girls, I would have. In High School if I could have been “one of the guys” I would have. If I could chose a lifestyle where my significant other and I could hold hands and walk down the street without fear of physical abuse, I would. The simple truth is this, it is not a choice. Kids will never be converted to become “one of the gays” by watching Will and Grace, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy or any other “gay show.” There was a time in my life where I felt the only way out was to end my life. I was taught that gay people are evil and was taught to hate them, this is my family’s feelings not nessicarily their religion speaking. So I ended up hating myself. The therapist, who I paid more than 5k over a two year period, always said I wasn’t praying enough, wasn’t reading enough scriptures and didn’t have enough faith. There was no way out…I felt like the church turned their back on me, I wasn’t doing well enough at counseling, I was still gay, there was the dissapointment of not going on a mission, I had just started college, and because I didn’t go on a mission my parents cut me off financially. I had to pay for a therapist, rent, tuition and living expenses so now I was gay and poor. Through all of this I could talk to no one, because gay is evil, except the counselor who said I should just “pray more.” The thought of ending my life came back. I had it all planned out, the conditions were perfect to go through with my plan. That night a coworker asked me to go to her house and play poker and drink beer with her husband. That invitation saved my life. After reading all of this does anyone think being gay is a choice? Would I willingly go through this rather than just find a girl to marry? This all happened between 2001 and 2003, not that long ago. If I could counter this douche bags rantings and have as large an audience she has I would say this; Don’t you ever try to tell me that this is a choice! You have no idea the personal Hell I have gone through just to find peace within my soul. I have lost family, friends and a religion. Don’t you ever try to tell me that my feelings are a choice. And who do you think you are spreading the same lies that “the gays” are out trying to recruit your kids! You can go straight to Hell.

I often find that any group that includes “Concerned” in their title often translates into a group of smug people who are narrow minded enough to believe that there is only one correct way to do everything.

A family member of mine tried to pull the same rational on me and I turned to her and said, “So you’re telling me that if you were exposed to pro-homosexual ads, speech, images and people you look up to constantly shoving it in your face, you would become sexually attracted to a female?”

She didn’t know what to say. I don’t know if that is because she realized the folly of the argument or she was thinking about what a heathen she has for a family relation, I don’t know.

I will give room to say that there may be more people who “Experiment” with homosexuality as there is more tolorence for it . I have a few friends who fall in this category. They got over it and moved on. There isn’t one gay person I know (And I know a lot) who would deliberately pick this for themselves.

It is much too difficult a path to live with. YOU try living a life that has thousands of “Concerned Citizens” groups breathing down your neck, saying you your are abnormal, less of a person and examining your life with a microscope.

I wish I could say I was surprised at The Davis County Clipper. I grew up in Bountiful and since my father worked for years as an editor at The Deseret News and I read 4-5 papers daily, I have been exposed to the drivel this paper puts out for more years than I care to remember.

The fact that this is is a “Newspaper” is revolting.

Thanks Tom and Aaron for your kind words. I was so frustrated last night after reading the article I responded very quickly without taking time to cool off. Now that I have had a night to sleep on it I want to point a few things out.

I agree with Aaron, we all need to stop the fighting and allow people to have their opinions. I remember a South Park epiosode where Mr. Garrison was trying to get fired so he could sue the school district for firing him because he was gay. He tried so hard to get fired, but all the parents were worried that they weren’t being tollerant…so Mr. Garrison escalated his behavior, and it really crossed the line. In the end he called all the parents out on what tollerance is. I remember him saying something very profound “We tollerate a baby crying on an airplane, we don’t like it, but we tollerate it.”

Since my whole family, and the majority of my friends are LDS, I am trying so hard to be tolleratant of the LDS church and their teachings. Anyone you talk to who knows me will tell you I am still a huge fan of the LDS church and their members. The problem comes when a religious belief of a minority, and that is what they are in the terms of overall population, tries to use their “knowledge” to tell someone who is not affiliated with their church how to act.

Dallin H. Oaks and Elder Wickman wrote an article on same sex attraction where they state that the feelings of same sex attraction may never go away. They say the best a person “struggling” with same sex attraction can hope for is getting married to a person who understands the issue and is willing to enter into this marriage under no false pretenses. Meaning they know there is same sex attraction, but that the feelings will remain feelings that are never entertained or acted on. The persons involved will be dilligent in keeping the issue at bay. The other option, to remain in good standing, is a life of celebacy. Both of those options just wouldn’t work for me.

I hope JoAnn Hamilton is not LDS because she clearly believes same sex attractions can change, when the LDS church has come out and said no don’t expect to be attracted to the opposite sex in this life. Although they say that will change in the afterlife.

I am really not as hostile my previous post would have many believe (jess will tell you otherwise though I just don’t see how my personal actions in my house with a consenting adult affects people who don’t like it. Did any resident of Davis County know about my boyfriend? Did they lose the spirit at all? Did their standard of living decrease? Were they in fear of physical harm? Did their kids start looking at the same sex in a romantic way? No.

What I do in my private residence is my business, just like what happens in LDS members place of worship is their business. I will never criticize the innerworkings of the LDS church with the hopes they will stop criticizing the innerworkings of my life.

Tom, what are you talking about? I don’t see anything changing, except for a more concerted effort to see to it that gay people are treated kindly. Do you really think they will be performing gay marriage in the temple one day? Where do you get that anything has changed? The doctrine has always been that succumbing is the sin, not being tempted, no matter what sin we’re talking about.

Dude, I get that the Church has changed with the times. You don’t have to convince me that I would see a much different church if I went back in time to the 1850s, or even the 1950s. But you’re going to have to show me where any authority has said the feelings themselves are sinful.

I think it says a lot for the Church that they’re willing to be somewhat dynamic. But that doesn’t change the basics, and I don’t see it happening on the issue of homosexuality, and I think you are really reaching to say that one day gays will have full fellowship. From a practical standpoint alone, not to mention the moral one, saying something is no longer a sin would be unprecedented, and a statement like the Manifesto or Revelation on the Priesthood would not do, and if anything would cast doubt on just how in tune with God the Brethren have been, since the Church claims direct revelation from God. It’s doubtful that, even if they wanted to and had been directed to do it, that they could pass this off as “the homosexuals’ long-awaited time has come,” as they did with the blacks in 1978. Religiously speaking, either something is right or it isn’t. You don’t have to accept anything you feel funny about, but it is chasing shadows for you to say that the Church’s stance on this topic has changed all that much.